As I Am

2012

2012-01-03T13:19:00.001-05:00

i think this is just the 'fix it' year

the even years

2012-01-02T12:53:00.000-05:00

i remember 2010 was pretty random. that was the word of the year. well, the beginning of the year. constant randomness. but it turned out to be a pretty good year, overall.

2012 has started out kind of random. i ended 2011 with warm hearts. i loved it. i love reconnecting with Gonzalo and Ellie. Maria is back. and these people just warm my heart.
New Years Day was similar. Maria came over and we just watched movies. I just love having her back! haha. I really do. I miss my B.I.s and our togetherness. I miss our B.Is and Mofos fo life. There's a family aspect to it. then we headed over to D and Megan's, Kef showed up, chalo, libby, JP... it was like our family. it was our family. i really loved it. it was pizza and a movie and wine with my familia. <3 Kef got us animal hats for the winter. haha. I LOVE IT!!! mine is a penguin.
so then i ended up at momo's to end my Jan 1st, and his visiting brother. we watched fast 5 and part of the fast and the furious and had leftover seafood and crabdip even though i wasn't hungry. food... always food...
and today my old roomie from Spain, Carlos, is visiting for 2 nights with a friend. wow... im gonna need help entertaining them. and then im having another visitor tomorrow for a few hours. man... 2012, maybe you're not random. just busy. im tired already. haha.

none-the-less, 2012. i have goals. and we're gonna get them done. ;o)

surprise!

2011-12-30T21:07:00.000-05:00

a surprise visit! first! i feel special. it's a confirmed sign from God and the Universe... it's gonna be a good year. God is gonna give me great things this year. im hopeful. :o)

goodbye 2011

2011-12-30T20:07:00.002-05:00

goodbye 2011. you brought upon me unrelenting pain and life lessons that crippled and hurt and nearly extinguished the fire to my soul... you reduced me to a tiny ember barely glowing. so many lessons, too many. you certainly were a catalyst for growing up faster. a catapult into adulthood. i want to kick you the hell out of my life 2011. you have embittered my heart with so much darkness. so much pain. so much hurt. you inflicted upon me so many wounds that only now begin and continue to heal. i want to kick you the fuck out. but, you did, however, weed out good from bad. you made the shit hit the fan and brought through people who really mattered... those who really counted. you brought out the thoughts and emotions and ideas that were most important. values in life. you refined me. you've made me a better person.

'its always darkest before the dawn'. the bitter and the sweet. without the dark we cannot have the dawn. without the bitter we do not know the sweet. and so i do not know how to bid my farewell to you, 2011. all i know is that...

....2012 is the dawn. 2012 will bring the sweet. 2012 is going to be so good to me. i know it. i have the utter confidence in the greatness that will be 2012. i welcome 2012 with open arms. i have such hope, such faith, such great expectation. 2012, i know what i want. i have my goals. i have my focus. i know what to do this year. i know what i want. 2012, i humbly welcome you to my life. 2012, i am ready for the greatness that you will bring my way. i am open to it. i also humbly request you bring with it the blessings and wishes for those i love and care for. rain blessing upon the hopeless, the helpless, the poor, the hungry, the needy. rain goodness, rain love, rain strength, rain courage, rain an incredible will for life and to do good in life. rain upon us the meer outstretched hand for a stranger. a smile to he or she who lives alone on the street. to bring recognition to those who are ignored. to be present in each moment. to love our children. the courage to speak up when needed. wisdom for words in all situations. to forgive those who need forgiveness. to heal. rain upon us the strength to be better people; for ourselves and to each other. welcome, 2012. you have no idea how hopeful i am for you.

2011-12-28T12:50:00.002-05:00

reading

2011-12-28T12:47:00.001-05:00

i was reading an article. ive been reading lots of things recently. and it all goes into a lot of what some of my 2012 resolutions are. 2012 is gonna be great. anyway, here are some quotes and interjected thoughts from the last few readings.

time to walk away from 'good enough', and keep on in search of 'can't live without'
it's like i said. you fucked up. you chose this. this is nothing. i could give infinitely times better. you have no idea how great. this would be great and wonderful. this is only a fraction of what we could be. and what we are meant to be together is ashamed of what we are now. because this is nothing. and this is not fair, to bind greatness into something so small. because this could be greater.
love should never be less than 100%. then that's settling.
so its time to move on. time for something to change. you chose poorly. this would've been unstoppable.
So it's better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this

dear...

2011-12-27T10:04:00.001-05:00

Santa and 2012,

I know what I want. Im ready. Bring on the great and wonderful and incredible.
Bring on the joy and happy and well deserved.
Bring on the amazing.
It's coming my way. Cuz I know what I want.
I'm. Ready.

Sincerely,
Dana

im 5 ft, ur 5' 11"

2011-12-25T20:33:00.004-05:00

spend Christmas w/ Marg's fam. Actually, im still here. but i really have to say, this is so exactly what i wanted. it's so relaxing and nice and non-pressured.

i always had a full glass of wine within reach whilst helping to set the table, make the mashed potatoes, fill the water glasses, clean up, cut up the potatoes as margaret washed and peeled them and we just talked. we had dinner at the nicely set table, mashed potatoes, green beans, dinner rolls, carrots, and scrumptious roast beef as rare as possible, and always a glass of wine (and water).

that said... i wore an apron the whole time. in fact, im still wearing it.

great Christmas! exactly what i wanted and needed.

meditative run

2011-12-25T13:44:00.000-05:00

the beast y la mierda

my heart is changing shape

ran today - rhythm of my feet and breathing brought me to release and liberation, esp over the bridge on calvert

world on fire

johnny cash - hurt

maligayang pasko sa inyong lahat

running today
over the bridge
rhythmic pattern
of feet and breath
in and out
feeling of sudden relief
let everything go
and into liberation

my faith is bigger than my fear

2011-12-08T12:53:00.001-05:00

I was on a roll this past year. Back in April/May. I had been getting my life together... moving forward to big things. But then I hit a giant wall... actually, life threw a wall bulldozing my way and stopped me in my tracks. Oh, life. you were difficult this year. But I think Im back! Im getting back on track! I feel the wheels turning, my heart pumping, adrenaline moving, and me just moving. Im going. Its going!

Bachelirthetteday

2011-12-06T00:12:00.001-05:00

it has been a great 28th birthday. some changes, ive come to grips with, but some goodness to look forward to. they call it 'letting go'. something like a bachelorette party - leaving the single life into a different life of partnership for eternity. im 'letting go'. and moving forward. to a new life. i feel the new life at the tips of my fingers. a good life. a great world. im hopeful for this 28th year. its gonna be a good one. filled with love that makes me bloom. surrounded by people who lift me higher. those who give me life. =o)

Birthday

2011-12-01T10:56:00.001-05:00

27 is over. 28 it is.

Its gone all very differently than planned. Beginning with Thanksgiving weekend. que lio.
how do you feel? someone asked of me and my birthday and turning 28.

in years past i had celebrated big and large and huge and incredibly! no holds bar! celebrating life and craziness and everything i have. this year has been different. much heavier and a little more difficult. the year 27 brought on many life altering perspective changing things. like, 'shit... this really happens. bad things can and do really happen.'

there was much loss this year. much profound loss. i mean, i still got crazy and had great fun, but a lot of loss and mind boggling and emotionally challenging events occured in this year. i won't forget it. just like i won't forget Thanksgiving 2011 and my 10 year reunion! ha!

we learn. we grow. there's so much in this life left to learn and left to do. i hope and pray and wish for greatness and goodness in this coming year. i did a learned a lot. i am hoping i grew a lot and will look forward to more good things. surround yourself only with those who lift you higher. good things come to good people. i have great people in my life. i know who they are. and they give me so much life. thank you to you all. love.

those who lift you higher...

2011-11-20T22:44:00.001-05:00

ive been in touch with some great friends these last couple of weeks. people who give me life and love.

last weekend i was in philadelphia on a hotair balloon at sunrise with T - a kindred spirit. she loves life and lives to enjoy each moment with fullness and joy. it was a greatly refreshing and giggly weekend in a beautiful city and great company. i also got to spend some time with esther - a beautiful spirit. her energy gives life to all she encounters and i feel love each time i see her.

friday i got to go out with some great women who put up with my craziness - crazy spirits w/ responsibility =o) i trust them in those crazy moments where i can let loose and unleash my country girl. ;o)

today, i woke up early and walked for HOURS with beautiful hearts - giving spirits. they were incredible in the giving of their sleep, their time, their legs, their strength, to walk between 9am and 3pm, to persevere in searching for people who are looking for what we came to offer. admittedly, i wanted to stop by 1. i was tired. but D pushed to find more and give more; to give all we had. we finally gave all the clothes to howard university hospital and then were left with about 10 bags from 50. i was and am thankful for his determination.

it was a long day with long talks of life and philosophy. i am thankful to all those who add to my life - the goodness and remind me of the greatness that is around me and build me up to be a better person.

blame it on the tron

2011-11-07T13:55:00.002-05:00

that's only been the second time that's happened to me. and the first time didn't involve as much face to toilet time.

wth? what a weekend...

crossed the MCM finish line for a 2nd time

2011-11-01T14:59:00.002-04:00

weekend

2011-10-26T16:19:00.003-04:00

the weekend was amazing. it was everything i wanted. if only i could have that feeling all the time. you know that relax feeling you feel when you just release everything and ease into exactly where you are and have an escape form thinking about anything? that's what i did. i went away to baltimore to dogsit. it was an entire house, a queensized bed with new sheets, a giant kitchen, giant flat screen t.v. with hundreds of channels, and then the fridge was STOCKED! (even though the only thing i killed off was the mint chocolate chip ice cream and the godiva chocolate bar). and then sunday morning i woke up early and had a long walk in the park with the dog. the BEST weekend ever.

and now this weekend i have the marathon... that im NOT running. and i didn't realize how upset about it i was until last night. =/ mad. i hurt my knee. its not possible. im sad and angry, frustrated and disappointed. sigh...

volando entre tus brazos

2011-10-17T21:38:00.000-04:00

i think i was in sync with the universe today because.... =oD

great day filled with amazing people and run ins with community.
i LOVE my community, my friends, my familia! y'all rock my world!

i really think it started with Marc Anthony last night. he's just so good and transfers positive energy from his soul through song into mine.

and i KNEW it was a great day when Willie texted to go out to Lucky tonight. ;o) he's the cherry on top of my beautiful day cake.

thank you, Universe.

mehhhhhhhhhhh

2011-10-16T23:09:00.001-04:00

stupid knee. =(

no smoking

2011-09-20T21:13:00.002-04:00

im back to functional and not depressed. and i like it. im happy.

i feel blessed. very blessed. i love all the friends around me. i love the ones who i know are here for me and constantly show me. they demonstrate love and give life to my life. life giving. im so thankful for them.

serenity september. it's coming along.

p.s. i ran 15 miles on sunday. proud moment. =)

be here now

2011-09-18T22:48:00.001-04:00

ive heard this several times...

2011-09-13T19:09:00.001-04:00

aunque estoy moriendo...

even if im dying inside...

however...

2011-09-12T21:59:00.002-04:00

i am pretty over it. because it all comes back to the same thing: in the end, nothing's changed and at the end of the day, it doesn't even matter.

encounters

2011-09-12T18:26:00.001-04:00

yesterday's 'chance' encounters just reminded me that im not ready yet... im just not ready.

the dust is settling...

2011-09-06T23:18:00.002-04:00

it was a great weekend. relaxing and happy. peace is starting to settle in, and laughter and happy is starting to reign over my heart. starting. still one day at a time. still time. time will heal. it'll be ok. just keep the happy, coming.

it takes a night to make it dawn

2011-09-01T22:20:00.002-04:00

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the rust to have it polished

wisdom from the 90s

2011-09-01T22:17:00.001-04:00

Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. Its what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

forgiveness

2011-09-01T17:24:00.000-04:00

To forgive is an act of compassion. It's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.

...eventually its given

to exist

2011-08-31T23:41:00.001-04:00

you need a time and a place:

i think its finally officially over. i think i am finally done. and im writing it out loud.

integrity

2011-08-31T19:22:00.002-04:00

sometimes i get it wrong. sometimes i get it right. i wish i got it right more often and consistently. or when i got it wrong, that it didn't all go wrong in a row for a long time and then hurt me so much that i can't find my breath.

peace

2011-08-30T22:42:00.001-04:00

and serenity

sometimes it takes getting out of the city to find it. and being away. and a homecooked meal and family. its wholesome and love. it soothes the soul.

irene

2011-08-27T22:27:00.001-04:00

hurriquake week.

it doesn't even matter

2011-08-27T22:26:00.000-04:00

in the end

...at the end of the day

aprendere

2011-08-24T22:00:00.000-04:00

crippling

2011-08-24T12:33:00.001-04:00

sometimes things just come up, a hot second, a quick moment, and it just cripples... ouch. =(

not a remedy for eye twitching

2011-08-23T15:27:00.004-04:00

earthquake in d.c. rocked my world. i thought it was a bomb. woah. thank God. and thank God we didn't have 20 crying 3 year olds in the school this week!!!

and as this experience settles in more, i realize i was def traumatized by lots cuz i thought this was a bomb and thought it was some september 11 related attack and just brought me back to some feelings to that day. i remember the moment i was glad it wasn't a bomb.

stuck out

2011-08-19T10:56:00.001-04:00

and im giving up on you now

no more 'baby'

only kisses on the cheek

and in a little while, we'll only have to wave

wise friend once told me:

'your tolerance for pain seems to keep growing

but your situation or happiness isnt necessarily changing'

and in a little while

2011-08-18T17:35:00.002-04:00

we'll only have to wave

...And now I'm giving up on you

http://youtu.be/FiMHRn-DFgI

defeated

2011-08-18T00:43:00.002-04:00

when they dont fight for you... its the worst feeling.

223.39

2011-08-18T00:05:00.001-04:00

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

the edge

2011-08-17T18:53:00.001-04:00

i think its gonna be a good year with this team

me: mmm.... im gonna go home and make margaritas

co-workers: what? margaritas?

me: OMG, did i just say that out loud?

forever associated w beach

2011-08-15T22:35:00.001-04:00

...and marg and JP dancing, and family, and arguments, and =o/

metabolism boost

2011-08-12T22:56:00.002-04:00

speaking of 9 mile run... im going to be ravenous in about an hour or less.

**update**

LESS!!! it was about another 15 minutes before i felt like i was dying. good old eggs in my fridge provided good protein! yum! y agua de coco! ;o)

gotta be the good life

2011-08-12T22:51:00.004-04:00

this is the sight i ran towards on my 9 mile run tonight...

good life indeed.

it's amazing what little things can remind me of so much joy.

GREs tomorrow. lots of well wishes from great and thoughtful friends. they're the ones that get me through... :o)

banal and cliche

2011-08-11T15:24:00.002-04:00

everything happens for a reason.

im reading through old emails from 2008 and they're good helpful reminders to me of how i can get through tough things and that im stronger than i seem to remember.

you're right

2011-08-11T01:24:00.000-04:00

i am doing better. i am moving forward. i am making progress. ok, cool.

august 9

2011-08-11T00:36:00.003-04:00

alrighty then.

well.... here we go again.

man, this year has sucked!

but good things have happened, too!

but mannnnnnn this year sucked!

beeeeeeach!

2011-08-09T00:29:00.001-04:00

with good family

does he make you smile?

2011-08-02T13:26:00.001-04:00

Jennifer Lopez in her interview with Vanity Fair over her breakup:

Since the couple called it quits last month, reports have emerged of Anthony -- a fellow musician -- being an envious and controlling husband, going so far as to have the final say over his wife's wardrobe choices. Lopez doesn't confirm those details, but hints at the fact that she, indeed, deserved better. "Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself -- if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me," she says. "I love myself enough to walk away from that now."

the hardest thing in life

2011-08-02T00:14:00.001-04:00

...is to live it.

trying something new

2011-08-01T22:12:00.003-04:00

healthy.

deactivated FB for the time being so i can study more for my GREs... it's just for 2 weeks. i really want good scores and i really want to be able to go wherever i want. im looking for good things here.

outgrown. that was the word of the year. or at least one of them. still is. so im trying new things.

grow we must if we outgrow all the love us.

you deserve the best, you're beautiful

2011-07-22T00:49:00.003-04:00

i had a great dance tonight with Adrian. i was mentally away from salsa for the last few weeks. i didn't really want to go out to habana. it was just a spontaneous 5 minute outing with the B.I.s. and that doesn't happen often much anymore either.

but i started dancing with Adrian and my energy and enthusiasm, my entire soul and body and breath and life and happy were in that dance of 4 some odd minutes. all of me was there and i was elated. i was happy.

i forgot that salsa can do that to me. i seem to be surprised by things that i know that can make me happy, recently. it was a good dance. thank you.

thursday starts the weekend

2011-07-21T22:11:00.003-04:00

i had a great day yesterday. i forget why, really. but i think it had to do with justin timberlake and then sailing on my own for hours last night. i did it again tonight. the sailing. it was awesome.

ive been alone most of this summer. i think mostly because i chose to. well, duh. ive had this weird introvert thing going on. and having to think through things, study, and wanting to go to the gym to really get into shape. which i have to get back to tomorrow because ive been sick this week. ive felt like a loner recently.

but somehow, i think tonight is gonna be a B.I. night. weird. its beena long time since that.

goodbye to you

2011-07-19T21:37:00.002-04:00

i thought of my kids today. from tyler. carlos parks, patrice, markietta, sharonda, damiyon, damare, nate, jalone, bryana, taquita, tashe, asha, carla, etct etc etc...

those were the hardest teaching years. but the most powerful. i always regretted leaving them. i still kind of do. i want to go back. and i keep saying i do. but when i eventually do, most of them will be all grown up. so much has happened to them and their community.

i want to go back to school. this whole GRE studying thing is to go back to school. and its to go back to school for creative arts therapy type stuff... to help kids in broken at risk and violent environments and help them find a way to deal or understand that and express and release healthily. and everytime i think about this program and going back to school... i always think of these kids. the kids at tyler. potomac gardens.

im wasting time. days keep going by and slipping away... years! and im not there yet. im not ready to help yet. im not helping yet! my life was supposed to help people. my life is to do great things. big things. contribute to this world by helping it. im not doing it to my full potential or capacity yet. im not done... yet.

i thought about the kids today, and then i suddenly felt like i was back in that community for one second. i drove by CentroNia and 14th and Col were taped off by caution tape and teaming with police officers and cars. apparently there was a shooting on the street at 645 this evening. it wasn't school related. but still. its like the pressure's on. i need to get on it. get to doing what i was meant to do.

concrete jungle

2011-07-15T02:53:00.002-04:00

6pm. jerz.

7pm. spontaneous decision to dance in manhattan. times square.

10pm. drove into manhattan.

when was the last time i drove into manhattan on a thursday night in the middle of the summer and found banging ass parking 2 blocks from times square and thusly my destination? and danced salsa and bachata with new folks? and then got hungry and bought a hotdog from a street vendor? and bummed a cigarette?

...never.

i feel like all this healthy eating and exercising may go downhill this weekend for the sake of enycee and the dreams it can make...

what goes around...

2011-07-13T23:56:00.003-04:00

i cried today. i got home, ran, and hopped in the shower... and just cried.

so much hurt in the world... in my small world. it made me sad.

it overwhelmed me.

so then "sending out great love and abounding goodness into the universe... because what else can you do?"

then tonight i hung out with some G.I.s. loves.

not finished

2011-07-13T14:15:00.003-04:00

"cookie dough. im cookie dough. im not finished becoming who im supposed to become yet."

so yes, obviously im not finished processing. i don't think i ever am. ive taken to some habits that may not necessarily be the most healthy in order to 'escape' the hard feelings or the thoughts... or some habits are just ones in which i feel i have control. im not sure. im not going to analyze those right now. i just know that im not finished processing the events of this year or the events that have been retriggered due to the events of this year. im in waves of ups and downs of happiness and depression.

i should probably talk to a counselor to figure these things out.

im so mad sometimes. so angry for no reason. well, for reasons, but they come out of nowhere. nothing triggers the thoughts, but these thoughts pop into my head and then i am angry.

i try to remember... between rage and serenity. i need to find that line... so that i can focus and be who i am supposed to be... do what im supposed to do... and i think it really means big things. i just don't know EXACTLY what those are.

in line with who im supposed to be, i had a thought just now after an email from a hurting friend... turns out, tho, that everyone is hurting and has suffered hurt for the same reasons... but anyway this was my thought:

"when i grow up and have kids, my kids will know that i love them. they will know that i am there to protect them and they will grow up to be happy and good people. they will respect women, they will respect themselves and do great things for themselves and for the people around them and for the world. they will know that i will give my life for them no matter what. no more of these bullshit childhoods of abandonment, abuse, not being protected, not being talked to, no relationship, etc. it will stop with us."

official day 1

2011-07-11T22:11:00.002-04:00

great day!

woke up! ate healthy! ran a sub 10 min 3 miles, had a great total body class and the instructor is awesome! he made my weights heavier and it really did help me out and im using heavier hand weights! nice! then i walked home to the beats of common sense.

i had lunch, studied a hot second, watched some t.v. and napped...

then went and got coffee and drove to the marina for my sailing lessons! great lesson! i sailed! sooooooo fun!!! i love it! then there was a storm coming in... tons of lightning! beautiful but dangerous! we had to finally doc about .25 miles around the point from the marina and tie the sailboats to a log and then swim back to the marina.

adventures! what a day! strength, power, beauty, life, love, water and light!!! love it!

tested

2011-07-09T17:09:00.003-04:00

repression, reflection, analysis. there are many dark corners to one's heart. deep secrets. different things that have happened that shape you. ive had my fair share. and then i just this second asked myself 'why? why me?' and i think God stepped in for a hot second:

And God is faithful; he will not let you be tested beyond what you can bear.

But when you are tested, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i guess i/we are stronger than we thought we are if God gave all that to us. In this i think God is also saying He's our safety net... He provides the light at the end of the very very very long tunnel... but He says we can do it.

my heart goes out to the one's who've suffered infliction. i'm mainly talking to the women right now. the women who've been abused both physically and mentally. who've been devalued.

i remembered and realized that i entered education because i wanted to help kids from marginalized communities find their voice; for themselves and then for the good for the people around them. i think i have also always partly wanted to help the same for women. ...and yet sometimes, i can't even get it perfectly right, myself.

anyway, this is for the women who've suffered, for the women who've been sisters to their sisters, and the women who've been incredible sisters to me. we can support each other and help each other. we are our support system. (not to ostracize the men from this support system - because we know there you are, the good ones.)

Everywhere I'm turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I'm searching
For the better part of me

I hang my head from sorrow
State of humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

'Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am, yes she is
Still when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman

This is for all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women
All my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun

And all my sisters coming together
Say yes I will, yes I can

'Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am, yes she is
Still when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman

When I'm breaking down and I can't be found
As I start to get weak
'Cause no one knows me underneath these clothes
But I can fly, we can fly, oh

'Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am, yes she is
Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman, yes she is

Let me tell you, I am a Superwoman
Yes I am, yes she is
See, even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman
Yes I am, said I'm a Superwoman, yes you are

Oh yeah, I'm tellin' you
I'm super, so super
I'm super, so super
Yes I am, yes we are
Yes I am, yes you are

life's a beach

2011-07-07T15:32:00.003-04:00

why cant we wake up like this everyday?

4 years down, 2 more to go

2011-07-03T22:21:00.000-04:00

I thought I told you, he'd be home soon
Couldn't help myself, you're too good to be true
I fall short each time
Everytime he ain't here
You and your charm get closer, closer in here
Like a fool for fire I fall, with my pride and all
Like a bomb before explosion
Ticking by your call
You're the wiser one, disguised from greed
And I'm just a child who belongs on her knees

But I found a boy who I love more
Than I ever did you before
So stand beside the river I cried
And let yourself down
Look how you want me now that I don't need you

So, you thought that I crumble to my knees
At the first I love you
Crawling back to me
To whisper 'will you leave your man?'
Cause you swear that this time you can stand by me

I won't stand by you

Cause I found a boy who I love more
Than I ever did you before
So stand beside the river I cried
And let yourself down
Look how you want me now that I don't need you

I ain't yours for no taking
You must be mistaken
I could never look into your eyes
And settle for wrong
And ignore the right
When I found a boy who loves me more
Than you ever did before
So stand beside the river you cry
And let yourself down
Look how you want me now that I don't need you

...???

2011-07-01T12:47:00.002-04:00

dunno. time heals, they say. but maybe sometimes you just use time to repress.

confidence

2011-06-26T21:56:00.001-04:00

whatever this feeling is... i want to keep it for a long time. i hope it stays.

:o)

adele - the songs on my heart

2011-06-25T00:12:00.003-04:00

hits me right in the heart. good stuff.

its been a great and active week.

im living me life, trying to be present for my community and for my friends, but also learning to do the same for me.

i'm living and making sure i am being happy for me.

feliz dia de san juan!

harvard

2011-06-21T23:49:00.001-04:00

...really???

summer!!!

2011-06-21T08:29:00.000-04:00

What are you doing this summer?

Anything I want.. that makes me happy.

x-men: first class

2011-06-20T01:44:00.002-04:00

great movie with good underlying themes and life lessons. ha! its kind of an avatar worthy movie in that it invokes good conversation on such themes. i hope i can find someone to talk about them with.

one of my fave quotes from the movie:

"true focus lies between rage and serenity"

...anyway...

so i did the walk this morning (see deep as reflection on the walk below), and then had brunch with good girlfriends at b.c., then walked in eastern market and bought a great picture that depicts serenity and peace and the ocean and a sunset and a little philippine girl. :o) then i watched the xmen movie with maria and went to acuario with rich, marg, maria and jeph.

i wanna give big props to my man. there were two, so i won't name which one it was. though both good upstanding men and so glad they're in my life and my friends' lives. anyhow, some drunk guy was talking to me or trying to talk to me. he relentlessly pushed conversation on me or requests to dance. i kept saying no. but he wouldn't give up. one of the men we were with stood up for me. stepped in. he said 'no man, she doesn't want to dance.' and when he didn't stop, he went to the drunk man's sober friend to tell him to get his drunk friend to stop.

this was a great moment for me. especially with the walk and domestic violence and my need for good men around. it wasn't that i NEEDED him to protect me, but that he stood up for me. he saw a bad or what could have been a bad situation and was a gentleman and when i couldn't stop the man, he stepped in and helped out.

ive had lots of highs today and that was one of them.

Huh: transvestite walking in the middle of U st. in fishnet stockings and heels and underwear like he/she owned the street and it was normal... that's not all... he/she was in the street because there was a whole caravan of about 8 to 10 latino cowboys on horseback with cowboy hats and all coming down 9th st turning onto U st. as i was driving across 9th street, i honestly didn't know which to look at.

between rage and serenity

2011-06-20T01:18:00.003-04:00

we did the walk a mile in her shoes today. against domestic violence. ive been pushing the issue and the walk for weeks now. talking with friends, starting conversations, thinking up ideas on how to promote awareness, making and selling ribbons with my class, talking with women who've incurred abuse of any kind from a close man in their life...

it was a good walk. i admittedly wanted to leave after 1.5 hours of waiting around doing nothing. i was hungry and the walk didnt seem like it would be happening anytime soon. i was looking forward to my caribbean eggs benedict - yum! as we were about step off the curb towards my car... Becky Lee of becky's fund got on the mic.

we stayed.

shit then got real and i was brought back to why i was there. these women were completely passionate about what they were doing, advocating for victims of domestic violence. and then men who were there in their hight heels about to run around lincoln park twice. i think the most notable line to me was spoken by Tommy Wells: councilmember of Ward 6.

he said 'i read and get a lot of invitations to things like this. and i saw this one, a march against domestic violence, just for men, and id have to wear heels. and i thought 'NO WAY!!! I am NOT doing this!!!' but then i thought about it a little bit more. i thought about how immediately resistant i was to the idea. and the more i thought about it the more i was resistant to putting on heels. and then i thought 'wait, why am i so extremely against wearing high heels? there's gotta be something there that im not seeing.'

ok, so i paraphrased his thoughts. but i thought this was a most poignant moment. I read it as a lightbulb going off in his mind that maybe his immediate and vehement aversion to the idea of wearing heels was a sign that maybe he needed to think twice about what this event was asking him to do: to stand in solidarity with women who have been and are currently still victim to domestic violence because it goes on silently. to stand up next to his wife, child, sister, friends and let all the abusers out there know: "Do not F*ck with these women! I love and care for them and I stand here with these women telling you to back the f*ck off! Respect them! Get your sh*t together and respect them!"

It was a good event. it wasn't very large, and as first time events go... always room for improvement. but the whole idea of it, the message of the whole thing: overall positive and life-giving and building up of people.

thanks to all who gave support in word, money and time.

PreK3 raised about $130 in selling the ribbons. Thanks.

..and thanks to the men out there who are really good men.

love and blessings.

such a great day

2011-06-16T13:02:00.001-04:00

:o)

i can say it and mean it!

2011-06-14T07:42:00.002-04:00

field day then nap at school. nice stronger 5 mile (3 mile) run. biked to and studied for 2 hours in dupont. found $20 outside bookstore. (hopefully this is constant positive reinforcement whenever i study). continued on my way to lucky bar. sold all the ribbons in my purse. biked home and it wasn't so bad. it was a really good and productive day.

is my aura turning around? (i don't wanna call it luck)

good influences

2011-06-12T21:52:00.002-04:00

i so very much love my family right now. the ones i see on a daily basis, i mean. or almost. when life is shitty and hard and dark and you can't find a place in you to be right... you need the people around you to feel good and comfortable. people you can feel safe around. and this is them.

yesterday i went to the beach with maria and j.p. it was an incredible sensation. to be out so far removed from the city and under the sun with the grandeur of the ocean before me... the vast unending expanse that allows you to breathe out as much as you need. and the water was so refreshing! it was a great time just being outside, enjoying the beating of the sun, nature and my closest friends, playing volleyball, diving under the waves, go-karting (a plus!), laughing and having serious conversations.

today i studied a bit. go me. im a little more focused after today on how to do the GRE studying. i literally did only about an hour of studying, but that's fine. i feel better about it and have a place to jump off.

then JP and Baylis and i went kayaking and walked around georgetown. another great day in nature. we kayaked to roosevelt island and hiked around a bit... got stuck by a few thorns and weird skin reactions... but that's okay... and then we went to C.H. and got frozen yo and empanadas and there was a huge capoeira showcase at the fountain. afterwards we all came to my house and rich and el amigo and marg came over to chill for a bit.

i think it takes me about this long to build a community/family around me that im comfortable with for all things. actually, i think it takes me about that long (2 years?) to be pajama pants comfortable with anyone that interact daily with.

anyway, i think its a new era. i know that ive been around them for a while now. but im just saying that my heart is a peace with them. my heart is peaceful knowing i have a family like them that i can count on and feel safe around. and i need it right now.

SPECIAL GUEST: FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA!

2011-06-09T07:40:00.003-04:00

its been a freakin crazy week. phew, thank goodness they cancelled field day today! in 100 degree weather. c'mon... beach anyone? Saturday?

:o)

2011-06-02T23:48:00.000-04:00

Hap Birth T M !

2011-06-01T17:41:00.001-04:00

2nd half of the year! 100 degrees! 27.5 years old! ok! getting my adult life on! learning, learned, doing, growing, adult-ing!

GREEEEEAT FREAKIN WEEKEND!!!

2011-05-31T00:44:00.004-04:00

alone

2011-05-28T21:10:00.003-04:00

sometimes i just have days where i need to be alone. today was one of those days. no phone. or i turn it off completely.

8 mile hike, rolled my ankle but went on any way, swam in a pool of water, ran into Nicole from salsa (random, just when you think you were not going to run into ANYONE you knew or knew your situations), hiked up to the top to have lunch, walked deep through the woods through a heavy rainstorm, hiked down to the natural slide and slid down it into frigid waters, hiked down a bit more and jumped off 20 foot rock into clear ice cold waters at the foot of a waterfall...

healing. i needed today.

shenandoah

2011-05-27T20:46:00.002-04:00

it was another sign

tu bien sabes que no te merezco

Camila radio on Pandora hitting the spot right now.

Ive figure out the cynicism and why I need a break from the man thing and relationship. And I know you all are gonna be like 'duh, Dana!' I'm so extra hurt and broken right now. I need time to heal and not hurt anymore. And figure out my life and what I want. And because I want the best for me, I cannot even imagine just light and casual with someone who doesn't care for me and love me deeply. I'm tired of getting clobbered, Im tired of getting hurt, I'm tired of getting disappointed.

Off to hike in the woods tomorrow. Im introverting.

count #3

2011-05-27T20:12:00.001-04:00

they say "people come into your life for a reason"

actually 3 different sources told me this within the last 24 hours. 3. lesson?

cynical

2011-05-27T13:38:00.004-04:00

ive found my thoughts and words to be so much more cynical in the last few months. but it also drives me for wanting more than ive ever settled for before. to raise my expectations of people. but ive also been hit by two different people with a very powerful thought within the last 12 hours:

"people come into your life for a reason"

things happen for a reason.

and its true. ive learned from all people ive met and encountered and had in my life. which is why i am here now. i can't let it spoil my view on people. though my heart is still wanting to stay in this stage of spoiling my view on people for the future. but i need to definitely keep the view of having high expectations. i want to keep the high expections. i want nothing but the best and do good for me. think about me and what makes me happy and what i want to do.

healing

2011-05-26T07:28:00.003-04:00

its been a long process. but its coming along. my body, my mind and my life are slowly recovering because i keep finding more and more things to take hold of, use to empower me, and become stronger.

yesterday i woke up and ran a few miles and then did a whole workout before work. and it just started a beautiful day. i had a pretty good day at school, i sent out more emails about the march on June 19 against domestic violence, i finished math plans for next week, i went to happy hour for a fundraiser for a friend's cause, then i went dancing at pure with JP and Richie showed up. i also ran into my old co-worker, Asha, there. as Richie and i were dancing, i had a flashback to when i first met these guys. it was such a great feeling in the beginning. just dancing til you sweat, joking about having to bring towels or richie just grabbing napkins for me from the bar, in the middle of the summer, out EVERY night, dancing the night away, meeting more and more people, just learning how to dance it and in the beginning i was so nervous about dancing with Richie cuz i thought he was so good. if you had split screened me back then to me last night, i'm way more confident now and comfortable on the dance floor. there's just a difference. but anyway, i was reminded of those times and it made me feel so good. i remembered dancing with Richie in the middle of the dance floor at Pure. it was a happy warm feeling. JP and Richie are such great friends. i love how it's developed into part of my family. through all this, i realized that when it counts, when shit hits the fan and times get tough, you really figure out who truly is a friend and will be there at your side when you have so much flying at you, hurting you and through what you're fighting through. these two boys happen to be part of the family that has done just that. and i am so thankful for them and send them love and good thoughts.

tonight im having a dinner with some of the women i also consider family. who have also stuck by me through these last few months. who've been my rock, my support, my help.

not to insult those of you who read this blog and i have not mentioned or invited to dinner. these are just the immediate family i have next to me almost 24/7.

and then there's some people who you cry over or are hurt over because you thought they were the people you could count on also, but it turns out you're not comfortable around them. that during hard times, you cant even bring yourself to tell them what's going on because you don't know how they'd react; you just don't trust them to be there for you.

but that's fine. these times are good for weeding out people who you know you can lean on.

this weekend im headed to shenandoah to go hiking, indulging in some paella and sangria, and going to enjoy the grandeur of the ocean and the sand between my toes and the sun kiss my skin.

the universe is trying to tell me its going to be okay.

google this. march this. june 19.

2011-05-23T13:42:00.003-04:00

http://www.beckysfund.org/cms/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=198&cntnt01origid=15&cntnt01returnid=65

scream

2011-05-23T13:19:00.001-04:00

Hace dÃ as que te observo
Y he contado con los dedos
cuantas veces te has reÃ do
una mano me ha valido.

Hace dÃ as que me fijo
no sÃ© que guardas ahÃ dentro
a juzgar por lo que veo
nada bueno, nada bueno.

De quÃ© tienes miedo
a reir y a llorar luego
a romper el hielo
que recubre tu silencio

SuÃ©ltate ya y cuÃ©ntame
que aquÃ estamos para eso
pa' lo bueno y pa' lo malo
llora ahora y rÃ e luego

(estribillo)
Si salgo corriendo, tÃº me agarras por el cuello
y si no te escucho, Grita !
Te tiendo la mano tu agarras todo el brazo,
y si quieres mÃ¡s pues, Grita !

Hace tiempo alguien me dijo
cual era el mejor remedio
cuando sin motivo alguno
se te iba el mundo al suelo

Y si quieres yo te explico
en que consiste el misterio
que no hay cielo, mar ni tierra
que la vida es un sueÃ±o

(estribillo)
Si salgo corriendo, tÃº me agarras por el cuello
y si no te escucho, Grita !
Te tiendo la mano tu agarras todo el brazo,
y si quieres mÃ¡s pues, Grita !

inadequacies

2011-05-22T23:20:00.003-04:00

fuck it.

outgrown

2011-05-22T14:28:00.001-04:00

i want to un-do my heart

and stop loving someone

on command

peace of mind

2011-05-22T12:55:00.000-04:00

I gotta find peace of mind... I gotta find peace of mind

He says it's impossible...But I know it's possible
He says it's impossible... But I know it's possible

He says there's no me without him... Please help me forget about him
He takes all my energy... Trapped in my memory
Constantly holding me... Constantly holding me

I need to tell you all... All the pain he's caused mmmmm
I need to tell you I'm... I'm undone because mmmmmm

He says it's impossible... But I know it's possible
He says it's impossible without him... But I know it's possible
To finally be in love... And know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship... Not based on ownership
I trust every part of you.... Cause all that you say you do
You love me despite myself
Sometimes I... I fight myself
I just can't believe that you.... Would have anything to do
With someone so insecure... Someone so immature
Ohh you inspire me, to be the higher me

You make my desire pure... You make my desire pure
Just tell me what to say... I can't find the words to say
Please don't be mad with me... I have no identity
All that I've known is gone... All I was building on
I wanna walk with you, how do I talk to you?

Touch my mouth with your hands... Touch my mouth with your hands

Oh I wanna understand the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face... The temptations of my past
Please don't let me disgrace... will my devotion last
Now that I know the thruth... Now that it's no excuse
Keeping me from your love... What was I thinking of
Holding me from your love... What was I thinking of

You are my peace of mind... That old me is left behind
You are my peace of mind... That old me is left behind

He says it's impossible... but I know it's possible
He says it's improbable... but I know it's tangible
He says it's not grabbable... but I know it's haveable
Cause anything's possible... Cause anything is possible

Please come free my mind... Please come feed my mind
Can you see my mind ohh... Won't you come free my mind
Oh I know it's possible

Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything.... yeah
Anything, anything, anything, anything, .... yeah
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything.... yeah

Oh, free... free, free, free your mind
Free... free your mind
Free.. free your mind
Free free free free your mind
Oh, it's so possible... Oh, it's so possible
I'm telling you it's possible... I'm telling you it's possible

Free, free, free....... free, get free now (repeat)

Your my peace of mind... That old me is left behind
Your my peace of mind... Your my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind... He's my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind... What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah... Every day's another chance
To get it right this time... everday's another chance

Oh what a merciful... merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful... wonderful wonderful God(continue to end)
What a merciful... merciful, merciful, merciful God
What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, merciful
Merciful, merciful, wonderful
Merciful, wonderful............

ever felt this way?

2011-05-20T00:15:00.001-04:00

abandoned?

i did once before. it was terrible.

this time, its no better.

and it certainly still doesn't feel fair.

bleeding hearts

2011-05-20T00:13:00.001-04:00

Alice Loves Me

Alice Loves Me (Or, They Have a Bad Track Record of Mass Graves)

Yes
I know
They have
A bad habit
Of
Coming
To your door
Before
Dawn;
Before even
Your littlest
Is awake
&
Waiting
For
Your
Morning
Smile;

Your scent
Of tobacco
&
Apples.

I know
Encountering
You
On
A deserted
road
They have
A tendency
To drive
Their subsidized
Jeeps
& Armored
Tanks
Into
Your defenseless
Body;
Loaded
Down
With
Firewood,
Water
In leaking
Plastic
jugs,
Old clothes
From the
Missionary
Dump,
&
Your
Broken
Heart;

Pushing you
To slow
Surrender
Of
All you
Were
&
Are.

They have
A bad
Track
Record
Of
Mass graves.

Looking at
The calm
Appearing
Spanish countryside
Of
Actual
Spain
One Sunday
Driving
To see
Grenada,
Seville,
Cordoba,
The Alhambra
& Traces
Of our
Moorish
Roots
The driver said:
Over there
& There
& There
& There
All mass graves
&
Maybe Lorca*
In
One of them.

This
Terror
Is not
New.

What is new
Is that
On the ether
Now
I can
Tell you:
I know
What is
Happening
To you.

Wherever
It is
Happening
Whoever
Is doing
It.

I want you
To know
That
& So
When you are
Facing
Your
Final
Eternal
Moment
Of
Transformation;
Whether by heat
Or cold
Uzi
Or
Machete
Or “simple”
Or complicated
By death
Rape
Or scorn;
Your tears
Causing
Much amusement;
Your efforts
To hide
Your
Shame
Hilarious
To men
& Boys
Circling
Your pain;

Remember
This -
Say it
& Know
It
Is true:

Alice loves me
Alice loves me

And I am not blamed for this.

She knows-
& is weeping
Even
In her sleep
While they laugh-

She knows
& Keeps
The record
That
This
Unspeakable
Violation

Of all of us
So briefly human

Is happening
To me.

catharsis

2011-05-19T23:22:00.004-04:00

today i thought about my ipod story. remember that? the day i chased down that kid for my ipod. that moment was so important for me. i needed so badly to stand up for myself. to not be taken advantage of. to not be stepped all over. i needed to defend myself. but, fuck! i couldn't even do it myself. my feet didn't run fast enough. my legs weren't swift enough. no matter how fast my heart beat, my body couldn't catch up. i wasn't enough. i physically was not enough.

its bullshit. bullshit! that in just one quick moment, one can go between the decision to keep the peace, choose to be a good person or not. in that one fucking moment they can choose to just take that upperhand, the advantage, that opportune moment, that maybe when youre not looking, just because they can, they choose to hurt you. they choose to make your life miserable and awful no matter what, they choose to hurt and destroy, all because they want something that belongs to you! its yours! they have no right to any of it unless you give them permission, but they don't even ask. they just take it!

they can choose to take your ipod, your dignity, your respect, your feeling of safety, your trust, your security, your health, your peaceable state of mind, your family, your love, you.

God, i plead with you all. i plead with you all who have the upper hand. who have the physical strength over us, who have the mental advantage, the emotional advantage, to not use that advantage against others. i beg you to understand that position you have. that advantage you have. and that choice you have between either doing good, or hurting and destroying.

themes

2011-05-19T22:46:00.002-04:00

you know how when you're going through stuff or thinking through stuff you see it repeat over and over again in shows, songs, people, life, etc? or maybe you're just projecting it out there, but still... it comes up a lot.

'you deserve to be happy.'

you deserve to be loved.

thanks, universe

2011-05-18T23:33:00.004-04:00

the universe gave me a great day today:

the von trapp family on bike was out this morning, got a flower from a kid today, field trip to the botanical gardens with beautiful flowers, saw old students from tyler!!!! my first class in fact!!!, great new song, friends, great gym time, BOXING!!!, cheesecake, laughter, wine, balcony, champagne birthdays, skype call nemito!, google, urban dictionary, love.

its the little things

2011-05-18T14:00:00.003-04:00

the VonTrapp family on bikes were out this morning, beautiful flowers! ran into the kids from tyler this morning who ar enow in 6th grade: 'mare, lashavia, grace, brittany, nicholas, kayla. bleeding hearts.

laugh out loud

2011-05-18T13:56:00.002-04:00

dear men

2011-05-16T10:28:00.002-04:00

i love a lot of you. ive BEEN IN LOVE with some of you.

some of you hurt me. some of you hurt women.

to the ones i love, and the ones i don't know:

i hope you know you have a huge responsibility to women.

you are the stronger sex physically and in this society.

with great power, comes great responsibility.

a huge responsibility to respect them.

please take this responsibility seriously.

please use your upper hand and opportunity to build up women,

not take advantage of them or hurt them.

please use this power, your upper hand, responsibly.

angry

2011-05-16T10:27:00.002-04:00

pretty pretty please

don't you ever ever feel

like you're less than, less than perfect

pretty pretty please

if you ever ever feel

like you're nothing

you are perfect to me

Committed Registration

2011-05-15T14:27:00.002-04:00

Not just confirmed. COMMITTED!

Welp, there it is! GREs here I come! August 13th.

Life. On a roll...

Dream big! Know what you want! Take risks! Go for it!

You deserve to be happy. =o)

something borrowed

2011-05-14T09:32:00.002-04:00

yeah, i watched it. at the beginning of the movie i kind of vowed to not watch chick flicks anymore cuz they just are no good for filling female minds with ideas of wonderful things and fantasy and things that don't really happen all the time. but then this movie was just really realistic, i appreciated it. so... i dunno now. but i kinda wanna scream this:

"You deserve to be happy!!!"

whats the best?

2011-05-13T13:19:00.003-04:00

Recovery: the act or process of restoration to a former or BETTER condition.

Process: a forward movement over the course of TIME.

this shit is so hard. but good. but so hard. but in the end, for the better. so, good.

i hate the way you lie

2011-05-12T00:17:00.000-04:00

on the first page of our story the future seemed so bright

but this thing turned out so evil... i dunno why im still surprised

even angels have their wicked schemes

but you take that to new extremes

you were once my hero... but now

just gonna stand there and watch me burn

its not all right cuz i hate the way it hurts

just gonna stand there and hear me cry

its not all right, cuz i hate all your lies

gravel in our voices, glass shattered form the fight

in this tug of war you'll always win even when im right

you feed me fables from your head

with empty threats

im sick that all these battles

are what keeps me satisfied

just gonna stand there and watch me burn

its not all right cuz i hate the way it hurts

just gonna stand there and hear me cry

its not all right, cuz i hate all your lies

so maybe i am a masochist

ive tried to run, but i dont want to leave

not til the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories

just gonna stand there and watch me burn

its not all right cuz i hate the way it hurts

just gonna stand there and hear me cry

its not all right, cuz i hate all your lies

please don't ever feel you're less than perfect

2011-05-11T13:02:00.002-04:00

Made a wrong turn, once or twice.

Dug my way out, blood and fire.

Bad decisions, that's all right.

Welcome to my silly life.

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.

Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.

Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.

Look, I'm still around.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,

You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk about yourself; you were wrong.

Change the voices in your head; make them like you instead.

So complicated, look happy, you'll make it

Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.

It's enough; I've done all I can think of.

Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Woah ohh, pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,

You're fuckin' perfect to me.

i have a song in my heart

2011-05-09T23:51:00.001-04:00

i always talk about a song in my heart and i found this quote. its so cute and perfect.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

sometimes

2011-05-09T16:25:00.001-04:00

youre stronger than you think you are

perfect:

Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~Christopher Robin to Pooh